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 Today is a terrible day in history. I have my own tradition, as they do in NYC. Here's my post from back then (with slight edits):


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 read this in Comicopia back then. I wanted to share it here as well:


March 1980: In a few months, I'll have my Bar Mitzvah. For now, we went as a family to New York City. We had friends of the family there, friends my parents made during their honeymoon years earlier.

We went on a trip - actually our friends, Randy and me, and our dad. Mom stayed at our friends' apartment. She was too nervous to take an elevator so many floors… we were going to visit buildings only open for a few months: the World Trade Center.


September 11th, 2001: It was just before 9am that I opened my TV. I'd gone to bed having taped a program at midnight, and now planned to watch it.

I turned to ABC as I always do, to record my soap opera that afternoon. Good Morning America were showing a special view of the World Trade Center, where one plane had accidentally (so they believed then) crashed into one of the Towers.

9:03am we realized it wasn't an accident: as we watched, not realizing right away, another plane raced into view from off-screen into the other Tower, a huge fireball erupting a second later.

Like the announcers, like anyone else watching, I was in shock. After a few minutes, I just hit 'play' on my VCR. I watched about an hour of WWF RAW, trying to erase the horrific image I'd just witnessed.

We got off the elevator at the Observation Deck. We'd risen so fast, I couldn't even fathom the fact I was over a hundred floors up.

I still hadn't developed as strong vertigo as I later had, but I was still both excited and nervous as I went to a window and looked bravely to the future and the city's skyline.


I stopped my tape, to hear what else had happened. The first words I heard came from Peter Jennings: "The World Trade Center is destroyed." Then, I watched with horror the footage of the towers as they imploded, and the realization stuck me: there were still people in there.

I ran to the bathroom. That was the first instance I had of being violently ill.

The rest of the day (ultimately a week) my senses were bombarded with the images of this horrible event - and with film of sick, soulless extremists in the Middle East dancing and rejoicing.

One of the many drawbacks of my health is chronic depression. If it's hit me before, I made a point of ignoring it - but now it hit me like a lead weight.

I called Mike that evening, barely able to hold my grief in, to ask if he'd heard from Alan yet, since he's always flying somewhere. Mike hadn't heard anything yet, but he reminded me that Allan J. Lappin from Compuserve worked in that area, and another longtime Forumnite, Carl Petroantonio, was a border guard in Washington. We both had many people to track.

While talking with mom on the phone, I remembered a former high school classmate who'd contacted me by e-mail last year; he'd said he now worked in NYC. I sent him another message ASAP, to make sure if he was OK. Fortunately, he and his girlfriend are in LA right now - and he said his friends in the city are all right too.

Jackie mentioned on our Delphi Forum that she had friends who worked in the WTC too. We still don't yet know what happened there.

Fortunately, the casualty count isn't as high as it could have been. I'm not saying that makes it all right; any number of casualties over 0 is too many. However, there could have been up to 50,000 people there. Nearly 7,000 innocent victims, including those in the planes and rescue workers lost - it's horrible, but thank Ghod there weren't more.

Some people have compared this to Pearl Harbor, but you just can't compare. Yes, both were awful, cowardly acts of evil, attacks with no warning - but the casualty numbers in Hawaii, the tremendous loss of life, just doesn't compare.

As I write this, American and British forces are bombing terrorist targets in Afghanistan. By the time you read this, those responsible for this will possibly have been dealt with… but the damage is done. A wound has been carved into our souls that will take many years to heal. Right now, it hurts so much…

1980, I looked to the future, but now that innocence is gone. 

jeffthoth: logo for the Aurora Award/Prix Aurora (Default)
(Don't worry... this isn't my last words. Not for many more years... I just wanted to update my journals -- and I had deep thoughts when I did (as I often do):

There's often talk about being bullied as kids. I was constantly bullied from Grade Three on. I was a creative, imaginative and precocious (I won't be self-centered and say too bright) kid, not a sporty one... so many others hated me. I was, along with my sisters, the only Jewish kids in the school back then, and I was terrified of worms. So kids would constantly throw worms at me, call me religious slurs, and generally make my life hell. I learned decades later that I had some fans, but they were also intimidated then so didn't speak up.

I really came out of my shell in Grade 11 when I was the lead in a musical, sang in a band at the Variety Show, and danced hip-hop at school dances and the hallway. Actually, I started when I was !4 at Camp B'nai B'rith. Being at a camp with no religious differences  lets you explore your creativity more.

I did have some negative characteristics from my days being bullied: I was pretty arrogant by my early 20s, especially when I first ran Comicopia, and some folks rebelled. I've grown up since then. 

(Note: I'm not looking for forgiveness.  A jerk is a jerk is a jerk.  i'm just trying to explain it a little.)


In a way my health now is bullying too... but I've learned how to cope with it now.

Meh

Jan. 29th, 2016 01:56 pm
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 After 6 years I have a throat cold.

Because of it my voice sounds strange. At least no one will mistake me for a women on the phone. They are surprised by my current Blues-style voice though.
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One of my friends commented about me being elsewhere and I discovered that my last post here was in March of 2015! Much has happened to me since then, good and bad:

- As I told my friend, I've been at working on my author's platform. I have my Author Fan Page on Facebook. (There's also a mailing list. If you aren't on FB, no problem. Send me a private message with your e-mail address and I'll manually add you to the list.

Other ways to follow me are my blog and @jabwriter on Twitter.

- 2015 was the end of an era for me: after 23 years I had my ponytail cut off. No longer a long hair guy.

- July was my longest hospital stay ever. Because of a major infection, I was in the ward for 2 weeks, then 3 more at home. This really messed up many things for me.

I'll post more over time, but for now I'm back!
jeffthoth: (meh)
 I don't like Internet ordering groceries (especially for just 3-4 items) so I went out this morning.

Not surprising Montreal  is lousy ae snow cleaning; I got jammed in a snowbank. After someone got me out I went to the Cote St-Luc side of my street, which is better maintained.and got what I needed.
jeffthoth: (glee)
 Gleeks rejoice!  Last night (Friday) was the final season debut.

Most of the songs I didn't care for (Ariana Grande? Puh-leez!), but re-doing the video for Take on Me always makes me wistful.
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 I haven't updated in some time. I have to get back on the horse!

- 2014 was the 30th anniversary of my graduation from high school. My parents came here to get me and bring me up to the country; I'd been trying to arrange another ride for over a month with no luck, so this worked out.

I recognized some of my longtime friends, but not everyone - but they all recognized me.

One of my friends whispered to me, "Who are these old people?"

My answer: "They're us."

- 2014 I also began my first novel for print. I began my first attempt at crowdsourcing for it. I didn't get my full funding target. It was a learning experience for the next time though.

- This marked 7 years that I've been employed at Centre Action. This year I was EIC of the Centre newsletter.

- There was some sadness. I learned that a friend that I worked for in 1995-96, and was also the chairperson of Con*Cept from 86 through to the end of my run in 99, died back in October.

2015  will be the launch of my novel on Kindle, as well as some of my other publications. So, onward and upward!
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 http://igg.me/at/rmsb/x/1608027

Get in on the ground floor as a backer and get it as an ebook or paperback. High-level backers can even see their names in print!
jeffthoth: (dance)
 I watched my recording of this week's show today and I was floored:

This was the second week of the final 10, where each one individually is paired with an all-star (a past competitor). This week one was paired with Courtney Galliano. I remember seeing her compete.

Nigel mentioned that she is now battling multiple sclerosis. More and more people are announced with it every day, but after more than 17 years it still surprises me. 
jeffthoth: (glee)
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/glee-star-cory-monteith-dies-584965

First and foremost, that a youngster (31) dies is tragic. There will be an autopsy, but he abused narcotics in the past; I suspect they're the cause now.

This will also impact the show (secondary to the loss). Finn Hudson was studying to be a teacher, and there was the storyline with Rachel too.

What a senseless waste.
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 Today marks 17 years since my diagnosis with MS.

It's definitely affecting me a lot. Not only am I barely able to speak (forget singing) and I can't leave a wheelchair much, but my eyes no longer focus together.

Note that It'm not whining It is what it is. If anything I'm angry at it for cooling my mellow.

It won't stop me from existing; it just slows me down.
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 Good and truly awful singers from  all across the USA and some inspiring background stories too... American Idol 12 has begun.

Like every year I wonder if the really bad ones lost a bet then had to perform.

I PVR'd the shows and watched them today.
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I haven't posted here in months, and my first post back is introspection? Well... we're less than 24 hours away from 2013, so I found it necessary.
 
2012 had some lows for me... as I spoke of before I had a 3-day hospital stay due to an infection in May. I haven't had to stay in a hospital since I was 1 month-old.
 
My MS progressed this year. The same part of my brain that controls my balance also controls my speech and vision (the cerebellum). They are both very messed up.
 
I had my first real episode in 11 years, with my left hand getting weak. As a result I couldn't even hold a cup by myself for nearly 2 months.
 
I didn't attend WizardWorld: Toronto this year, nor a reunion of high school, and Con*Cept was cancelled this year for a dearth of manpower to run it.
 
The year had a few good things too. Most important I was published again, and have begun to see profits from it. I have 3 (and maybe 4) other versions of the product to write, so many more profits are to come.
 
A 1st-year resident from Emergency at the Jewish General Hospital came to me this spring; I busked with him in 1987. He went back to school to study medicine. He finally got his life fixed up, and I'm glad he did.
 
In the fall I met up with a guy that I worked with nearly 23 years ago. This has really been a year for me for re-encounters!
 
I didn't make it to 50 K in NaNoWriMo again this year, but I achieved nearly 24 K. That's better than 2011, when I wrote less than 19 K; I was so upset that I thought about quitting my job. Fortunately the new Director for my work program is a nicer person (no one liked the last one; she was why I wanted to quit).
 
I did attend the Montreal Comic-con this year. I saw Jim Starlin, David Finch and Darwin Cooke (those last two again) and saw William Shatner, Roddy McDowell too, met Wil Weaton (he's really cool in person), Laura Vandervoot (she played Supergirl on Smallville, but to me she'll always be Sadie from Instant Star)... I also re-met a friend that I hadn't seen in nearly a decade, as well as a friend from NaNo and his step-daughter, who's dating my nephew. It was a great event.
 
- oh. No surprise: the Mayan Apocalypse didn't happen.
 
2013 will see many more publications from me, and more cool encounters. I'm looking forward to it.
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Right now my PVR is recording the vampire film From Dusk Till Dawn on Space: The Imagination Station (like SyFy in the US, except it actually does support Sf, Horror and Fantasy).

It's seen by some as the weakest of Quentin Tarrantino's scripts, but not so by me. I saw it in the cinema when it came out... at first it shocked me. Then, I realized it would be wacky, so went along with it.

In many ways it was an early inspiration for Grindhouse. Since Robert Rodrigez was the director here too, the notion fits doubly.
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 I haven't been on either Dreamwidth or Livejournal often lately, so readers of those wouldn't notice. My readers on Facebook likely have however...

May 9-12 I was in the Jewish General Hospital here in Montreal. I had an infection that seemed to tire me out on the 8th; by 4 AM on the 9th I woke in bed only able to move enough to press my Lifeline panic button - but I was so weak I could barely be heard on its speaker. An ambulance was sent and the drivers had to break my door to get to me.

At first I didn't think I needed to go to a hospital but they did. Considering how bad I was, I'm glad I listened! In Emergency I was pumped full of fluids (I was dehydrated) and started on an antibiotic drip. About 2 hours later I could speak better.

One of my sisters is listed as an emergency contact. She called my mom and dad. When I was wheeled back from a chest x-ray mom was waiting for me.

I was pretty composed until then, but within 10 seconds my emotional floodgates fell out.

There were others that I wished could be told but I had no way to reach them.

3 days of hospital bed-rest and I was allowed to go home. I have a 9-day antibiotic prescription for it, and I'll get to bed again soon.

I'll go back on Facebook Sunday in the day. Many of my games may have timed out,  but so what? My well-being matters more.
jeffthoth: (cat)
 Today is bittersweet: it's  the 2nd anniversary of my baby Squeaky being euthanized, but also the 2nd anniversary of Garfield being here.

Someday I won't mourn Squeaky as much, but not yet.
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 I guess that after so long it's not that important... March 23rd was the 15th Dx Day anniversary.

I show the effect of disability progression, and if asked I'd definitely say, "MS sucks." -- but that's the full extent of my negativity.
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 Pathetic really:

The annual protest against police brutality happened in Montreal this week... and like most years, some protesters rioted, getting arrested for vandalism.

As I said, pathetic.
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 In today's news Davey Jones from The Monkees died. He was 66.

The group started a year before I was born. They are part of my cultural history. I'll miss him.

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