2016-04-10

jeffthoth: logo for the Aurora Award/Prix Aurora (Default)
2016-04-10 03:09 pm

Self-reflection on bullying

(Don't worry... this isn't my last words. Not for many more years... I just wanted to update my journals -- and I had deep thoughts when I did (as I often do):

There's often talk about being bullied as kids. I was constantly bullied from Grade Three on. I was a creative, imaginative and precocious (I won't be self-centered and say too bright) kid, not a sporty one... so many others hated me. I was, along with my sisters, the only Jewish kids in the school back then, and I was terrified of worms. So kids would constantly throw worms at me, call me religious slurs, and generally make my life hell. I learned decades later that I had some fans, but they were also intimidated then so didn't speak up.

I really came out of my shell in Grade 11 when I was the lead in a musical, sang in a band at the Variety Show, and danced hip-hop at school dances and the hallway. Actually, I started when I was !4 at Camp B'nai B'rith. Being at a camp with no religious differences  lets you explore your creativity more.

I did have some negative characteristics from my days being bullied: I was pretty arrogant by my early 20s, especially when I first ran Comicopia, and some folks rebelled. I've grown up since then. 

(Note: I'm not looking for forgiveness.  A jerk is a jerk is a jerk.  i'm just trying to explain it a little.)


In a way my health now is bullying too... but I've learned how to cope with it now.